Save the nightime for your weeping

Exactly half an hour to the last exam of second year, and I'm hyperventilating. My hands are shaking. And the prof wants us to use mechanical pencils, to which I say, no, Dr. Baillargeon, I will not. Those things have all the discomfort of a pen with the additional bad habit of running out of lead at inopportune times. You can deal with real lead and like it.

Just finished reading The Woman Who Walked Into Doors, and sweet Jesus, that's a disturbing book. But at the same time, it's one of the few pieces of writing that makes you experience the emotion he's describing. I felt elated, desperate, and anxious by degrees. You can see why she loves her husband, even after he begins to beat her daily; you can feel it, a dull ache just below your breastbone. Powerful stuff.

My senses all seem heightened right now, I'm so nervous. The air is thicker, people move differently, the coffee I'm drinking is extra sharp. Bizarre. That is probably why I don't test well.

See you tomorrow, Sarah C.!

You'd better be scared right about now

I'm on a strange computer right now, feeling grumpy and overdosed on sugar. Just got back from SL's place, but she buggered off into the kitchen as per usual and left me to check out WS's awesome new 3D Nintendo game, with a touch screen and games you play with the aid of a yellow card on the table. I love having friends who are not technologically challenged. At the end, everyone participated in a group hug, even though I'm pretty sure I'll be able to see them again before I leave. It left me feeling strangely weepy and lonely.

I also scored a free iPod today, but remind me to relate the fairly hilarious story tomorrow, as I think it's almost time for bed. ER also reminded me tonight that it's J's birthday tomorrow, which is funny; I had totally forgotten. It's unlikely I'll see him again before I head up north, which makes me feel...disconnected, somehow. And frustrated. Not positive emotions for any kind of relationship.

One last thing; I have to do a shout-out to Heather M., a wonderfully talented girl from my hometown who has apparently read some of these ramblings. Your message made me feel happy almost all day; I would love to get together if we are ever in each other's general vicinity.

I wish the best for you

Here it is, 10:30pm, and I can't believe how exhausted I am. Good god, where's all this fresh, youthful teenage enthusiasm I'm supposed to possess?

Um. Today was my last day of work for awhile, which was both sad and a bit of a relief. I'll appreciate it that much more when I return, tanned and missing most of my blood from the north's vicious mosquitoes. I watched CT cut lumps off a dog and fell asleep on a Labrador's chest, which basically sums up my entire veterinary experience; nap wherever and whenever you can.

Forgot my Roddy Doyle book at MH and BM's house last night. Damn. Oh, and there's apparently a show on cable TV that just portrays couples in open relationships going to bars and scoping out other couples who may be up for having threesomes, after which they discuss their experiences. Wha..? Look, if that's what you want, fine; but please, for the love of God, don't EVER, EVER try to make a reality show about it! Not only does it make people uncomfortable, it cheapens you, your relationship, and likely embarrasses your family. "But Laura, why were you watching it in the first place?" Well, the remote doesn't work properly, and it was on the way to WWE. Which isn't much better, now that I think about it.

Hot chocolate would be wonderful right now.

"It is the mark of an educated mind to entertain a thought without accepting it."-Aristotle

A surprisingly hard word to spell

I got up bright and early this morning, took a shower, got on the bus headed for the library...and have gotten nothing accomplished so far. Except that my mom needs yet more tax info I'll have to hunt down, and I have no idea where it is.

This has probably been the worst semester so far study-habit wise. First year I concentrated solely on adrenaline and fear, and the first semester of this year I studied at odd hours when I couldn't sleep. This semester, I feel much happier and better-rested, but my work ethic has also taken a dive. Not something you should let happen in University, believe me. I should have at least a vague idea of what constitutes responsibility by now.

Ummm...yesterday I danced around a lot and ate a ton of food in between watching Northern Exposure and devouring books. I woke up in the middle of the night from a deep sleep and must have dragged myself into the bathroom, as I woke up on the floor this morning. Weird.

Finally made it up to Tofino this week, which was pretty cool. The beaches remind me of low water season at home, and the last place we explored had a creek mouth that could have passed for the headwaters of Tezron. The water was an endless green-black mess of whitecaps, and my sides ached from laughter by the time we got back to Victoria. There are some days when life is wonderful.

I really need to pee and go buy a coffee, so I'll leave you here. Take care of yourselves.

Let's go and take 9 shots, we'll just call it 50

The above is a Neitzche quote, in celebration of the Philosophy 261 final tomorrow that I should be studying for right now (hah).

What a waste of a day. I basically listened to rap music and struggled through half of an essay, and also read a collection of short stories, some of which made me feel disoriented at the end of them. So it was kind of hard to stick to a firm writing style, and I'm scared to read this paper when it's done.

Oh, yeah. I also picked up an awesome 80L MEC backpack for $25. The guy I bought it from had a 6-week old baby and was blurry eyed and not wearing any socks.

Grover's house tomorrow. I may faint with excitement.

Fill me with your poison

I'm about to head over to a sketchy-sounding apartment to meet a sketchy-sounding guy who is selling a Leatherman super-cheap because he needs money by tomorrow. How suspicious. Due to safety concerns, I'm dragging Sabo with me. She and ER are watching an eighties movie featuring Julia Roberts and a bunch of girls who are talented at screwing up their lives in interesting ways. One of the characters dumped a barrel of fish on her boyfriend's porsche, and all he said was, "Think you could give me a life home?"

Awesome Friday-night, end-of-classes get-together this past week. We drank a ton of wine and I broke a lightbulb and we finished off a bag of spinach after all the chips and chocolate had been eaten.